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How to view shared custody when it’s not what you wanted

On Behalf of | Dec 20, 2021 | Child Custody

When you and your spouse decided to get divorced, you hoped that you could get sole custody of your children. You think that it would be the most stable living situation for them, and you believe that that would be best.

However, joint custody has certainly become the norm in recent years. Shared custody is very unlikely unless your spouse has a history of abuse or something of this nature. Odds are you’re going to have to share time with your kids, and you need to know how to view that. How should you look at this so that you can feel content with a situation that is not necessarily what you wanted?

Joint custody is best for the children

The main thing that you need to keep in mind is that, generally speaking, joint custody has been found to be the best for the children after a divorce. It helps them grow and develop, it limits any sort of social or emotional issues that they may face, it helps them do better in school and it gives them involvement with parents who bring different teaching styles and viewpoints.

This is the reason that it has become so popular. The courts didn’t just decide to have this shift. They looked at decades of studies and found that joint custody provided more benefits for the children than sole custody, and they decided to err on that side whenever possible.

Of course, there are times when shared custody is a worse outcome, but most of these are fairly obvious. They include things like abuse, criminal activity, drug use and the like. If the court thinks that it is not safe for your children to be with your ex, they’re going to address that. But, barring something drastic that tips the scales, they’re going to try to allow both you and your ex to stay involved with the kids.

So what options do you have?

Rather than trying to fight for a custody arrangement that you’re not going to receive, it may be better to focus on all of the options you have to divide that shared custody in a way that fits with your schedule and addresses the children’s needs. Always put them first, and you’ll find the right solution.